Hello world!

I’m greater than ever!
I wanted to believe, hopefully my beliefs will prove out to be true in the upcoming future. I just read something that fueled my tanks of hope full again. Even though it would seem pointless, geeky, even sad to most of you, I’m still filled with excitement and pride. I stood there even during the hard four years that were filled with uncertainty and most just abandoned hope, or forgot about everything due to lack of interest. For me it was actually more love than it was interest.
Thank you for smiling! ( I don’t care what you’re smiling about, just smile because you’re here, not queer, if you are, I don’t care… just rule your own world and feel good!)

recycle

a sentence so simple,
a sentence so hard,
sentenced my thoughts,
to spring wildly apart.

our eyebrows are raised,
when stumbling upon,
life so cute,
embodied by a furry little paw.

Yet do we miss,
to realize the truth,
that our stay here,
is as short as it is cute.

it is morbidly cruel,
but when we were born,
there started a countdown,
to the flies next respawn.

honesty

I’m afraid of obligations…I’m afraid I don’t have it in me. It’d be easy to run, to be someone else everytime you get to a new place. Eventually, your past would catch you, but then you’d just leave again. But who would you really be then? Would you be at all?

I keep letting myself down, it has come to the point where I am able to just sweep it under the rug. If I fail at something I just ignore it and wait for something to take my mind elsewhere. I think I am writing this to get the truth shouted out loud to myself.

It is not that I am lazy, I just got disappointed too many times. Whenever a friend or an acquaintance is feeling down and just wants to sit at home all day, I keep telling him/her that she/he only lives once. I am perfectly aware that I should follow my own advice, but it is kinda hard to get by on your own, don’t you think?

I’ve practically ceased to believe that I’d someday find someone to share my life with. It’s not like I didn’t have options, or that one of these options wouldn’t fit me…I can’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe I’ve gotten to cynical? Or depressed. I dread to say that I think I’m incapable of loving another person. There are people in my life that I love very much, but what I’m trying to say is that I don’t think I can ever love anyone besides the people I love right now. I don’t let anyone that close anymore.

It is extremely sad to see my own text right now. I’m a pathetic little crybaby. Who the f*ck turned me into this sad little person?..shit,… I think I just realized an awful truth about life…I can’t believe I’ve been so blind…

ok here it goes;

Let’s assume that winning a lot of money in the lottery is a good thing, well, it wouldn’t be all that great if everyone won the lottery all the time. The world needs to be filled with people that didn’t win the lottery, that’s what makes winning so nice. And what if…
what if it is the same when it comes to love. You know, in order for love to be that great, there has to be those that can’t have it…
Cruelty and beauty just got married and I’m going to sleep.