Archive for the ‘Mind blurbs’ Category

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Gambling, winning, losing, living.

November 9, 2009

To bet on a team, on a sportsman, on a score…you do it because the outcome is unpredictable. When you watch the game, the fight, the tournament, you’re excited when things go your way. Unpredictable. You win. You’re a happy, for a moment. You play again, you lose. You play again, it’s a draw.

It’s not always about winning. It’s about participating. About leaving it up to fate. It’s about seeing things turn in your favor even though you were down 12-0 a minute ago. It is why we live.

I thought about death recently. I had witnessed a disease drain the life out of a person. I was mad. I felt frustrated. I wanted to be able to fix her. I wanted to fix everyone that needed help. I wanted everything to run perfect. I wanted the human body to function like a computer. To troubleshoot whenever a problem occurred, and then move on.
…careful what you wish for.
Predictability is not a reason to cheer.

It is heart aching, but death, is what painted life beautiful. Loneliness is the scented candle you smell when in love.

Obviously I can write it, but I will never ever fully understand.

Love,
4oclocksandwich.

Photo from the film "My sister's keeper".

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seconds, minutes, hours…

September 23, 2009

a cup of coffee lasts 20 minutes
the smile generated by a birthday gift fades away in a couple of minutes,
you’re done reading the newspaper in half an hour,
but the obituary is there for another 24…then it’s replaced by the next one.

what an impact.

smile

Out doing your body and soul justice yet?

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SE7EN

September 3, 2009

I once saw a recording of a live stand-up comedy show starring Dylan Moran. He spoke about not making “a too big of a deal” of the whole “Hello-thing”. He described the word “Hello” as some kind of a word eater, When you meet someone you hardly know and haven’t seen him/her in a long time you usually say hello, and then suddenly you’re all out of words. You’ll just end up talking about the weather, and the weather is not on the list of things I want to discuss here. So, there you go, no hello.

I haven’t been polluting this blog with my boring words in a long time, but I think that is going to change from now on. I’ve had stuff to do. You’ll hear about a lot of things soon enough.
First of all though;

Envy.

Envy is NOT pretty. Christianity defines envy as one of the seven deadly sins. The way I was brought up I guess I’d define it as a weakness.
Today I witnessed envy in one of its more awful forms. I was at work, ( I work as a landscaper / gardener ). And we we’re constructing this stone wall on behalf of a client of ours. I’ve built similar stone walls hundreds of times all over town before, (they’re commonly used to add support to various flower beds, if the difference in height is great on a short distance of space) and the response I’ve gotten this far, have always been positive.

Today, it was negative. Don’t get me wrong now, our client was thrilled with it…he absolutely loved it. But, his neighbour on the other hand, wasn’t quite as excited as our client.

I started working at 8 am. Around 1 pm a man showed up. He introduced himself as the lawyer of the local housing committee . Then he continued to tell us that our clients neighbour felt that the stone wall we were building, somehow violated some kind of law. He himself couldn’t see where the problem resided. After taking some pictures the lawyer told us that we could finish our work, but that he had to discuss the matter with the board…

First of all;

The stone wall, with its flower bed, added gigantic amounts of character and harmony to the neighborhood.

Second;

Our client’s neighbour can’t see the wall from his house, and thus, it shouldn’t bother him.

And last but not least;

STOP SUING PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE YOU ENVY THEM! Especially when they’re making your neighborhood pretty.

I honestly have not been this disappointed in mankind in a long time. The man that sued our client showed such envy that I just want to go over there now and humiliate him in some way. Oh yeah, I didn’t mention that the whole thing is going to court. I’d understand him on some level if he would be poor, but judging from the size of his house, I’d say he is one of the wealthier chaps around…
maybe money does that to you?

Anyways, I’m just a bit wound up, it wasn’t my intention to return to this blog shouting.

Apart from the scenario described above, the summer has been nothing but good to me. I’ve laughed, shed tears of joy and absolutely felt like home. I’ll get back to you soon again.

Until then,

Ship ahoy, pirates do annoy!

A random stone wall I found on the web.

A random stone wall I found on the web.

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growing hungrier when eating

February 18, 2009

Hi all!

The human mind has a built in non-stoppable craving for more. Nothing is ever enough. In the words of the good old Billy Corgan; “I wanted more, than life could ever grant me”.
Sometimes we experience this as a bad thing, other times we realize that this craving is what keeps us going. The minute you give up on your goals you become a depressed zombie.

Of all the goals and dreams I like the smallest ones the most. You know, finally being able to purchase the guitar you’ve been drooling over the past months, or accomplishing something in school etc. These goals are totally within your reach, you just got to put a little effort in it. Then the rest is up to fate. If that guitar will ever get you what you want, or if the diploma earned in school will get you where you want to.

Right now, I’ve got two things in mind. A trip, and a set of recording equipment. I can’t have them both. With a little luck I can afford one of them.

The recording equipment would consist of; A 4-string acoustic bass, a preamp, a microphone and a microphonestand;
components

The trip would be a trip around Europe, by train.
train
I can’t have them both, but I believe I’ll be satisfied which ever I choose.
Until then, ride the big one!

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change

January 15, 2009

I’ve been reading a lot lately, came across this one book called; “Freakonomics”. Mighty interesting I must say. It’s all about “cause and effect” and correlations. A breath of fresh air some might say. The most interesting part of the book was about parenting. It got me wondering about the same thing that the author was questioning. How much does parenting affect a persons life?

freakonomics

The author, or the authors to be correct, had massive piles of data to back up their theories, I can merely judge my own life. I can also to some extent judge the lives of people very close to me since I tend to know their parents quite well too. I absolutely agree with the book when it comes to genetics. At least 50 % of peoples behaviour can, in my opinion, directly be linked to their genes. It’s the rest, the things that determine who you really are that is interesting. If I had to jump to conclusions my thesis would be this;

I think that parents…shit I’m going to need coffee for this one…
I think that parents can form your entire youth to some extent, they probably have very little impact on your personal IQ, but they can have a rather large impact on decisions you make as a youth. But after you reach maturity, your decisions, behaviour and personality will be entirely yours. Once in a while you will do something out of respect for your parents, but I’d like to claim that even that is not linked to parenting as much as it is to love.

Although I stated that parenting will be reflected in a persons youth, you can never be sure on how it will be reflected.For example; A popular belief is that if a child comes in contact with cigarettes as a child, the same child will probably be a smoker. My best childhood friend had parents that both were smokers. He never touched a cigarette. My parents weren’t smokers. I started smoking when I was twelve.

I think that parents are kinda like alcohol. Imagine this scenario; Although intoxicated, she wouldn’t steal a candy bar until given the opportunity. Sober she wouldn’t steal the same candy bar although given the opportunity. To sum it up;

- She has a tendency to steal candy bars, but is too afraid to do it sober.
- When drunk, she will not steal a candy bar until she accidentally comes across an empty shop with candy bars.

Another scenario;
She finds the piano intriguing. She is too afraid to ask the local hotel owner, (that she knows owns a piano), if she could practice playing the piano at his place. Her parents notice that she talks a lot about that there is a local hotel owner that has got a piano. They encourage her to go ask the local hotel owner if she could play his piano.

- She is interested in playing piano, but is too afraid to do it without encouragement.
- Encouraged she wouldn’t play the piano unless there was a piano close by.

What I’m saying is that through your entire youth you are merely intoxicated by your parents beliefs and ideas, not necessarily in a negative way. Your behaviour will very much also be affected by opportunity given. In the end I would also like to add that there are millions of other things that may have a large impact on your personality during the first 20 years of your life. I, for instance, would probably not write this blog at all had I been a son to a multimillionaire in say, the United States.

Anyways, I just wanted to share some thoughts with you, I kept on writing as the thoughts struck me so the opinions that I just expressed, are much likely to differ from the opinions that I’ll have in five years.

…hello horsy, off to wonderland, away!

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I’ll always miss you

January 6, 2009

I miss being young…I mean really young.
That age when it was okay to spill a glass of milk on the dinner table. The age when I didn’t have the slightest clue of when a girl was into me, even though everything was way more obvious then. The age when highscores in various videogames were more important than girls.

Being responsible relly sucks. I feel cheated. Everything is so serious. People close to me are dying. Everything is no longer possible.

It would be easier to just leave everything behind. I think you’re supposed to do that. Just say Sayonara, Arrivaderci or Au revoir. It’s time to find a new home, and become the person you really are. It’s so hard to disappoint everyone close to you, and you’re very likely to do just that by becoming the one you are.

Right now I’m a mixture of what people expect me to be. Yeah, sure, I don’t disappoint many people but I should really buy myself some balls / cojonas and become the one I really want to be, because this is going to kill me in the end.

I can’t think of a single species that keep in touch with the ones they knew in their youth when I think of wildlife and nature. They just wake up one day and realize that home isn’t home anymore, it’s elsewhere.

I probably sound really miserable, but I’m not quite that puppet with a smiling face operated by the ones with expectations on me. I’m merely talking to myself and scaring myself by shouting out words that I’ve been too afraid to speak…all this because of that bloody Mr.Sandman that fail to show up at my apartment. If you see him, please attach some strings to him and give them to me. Let’s see how he likes me as his puppeteer.

There it is ladies and gentlemen, I managed to get the word puppeteer into my blog. It should be safe to drill through the earth now, because I think hell already froze over.

Good night! Sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs fight, leave that to the people in Gaza.

leaving

leaving

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my dear island

January 2, 2009

Sometimes it feels like the world is an ocean of egoism and narcissism. Sometimes I nearly drown and become a part of the ocean. But I refuse to cave in.
With my pride as my boat and my hope as my sail,
I fight the waves that want me to fail.

The reason to why I keep going is a dream of an island. The beaches were shaped out of your beauty and your wisdom is an endless jungle. The day my boat hits your harbor I will cherish you forever, and never set sail again.
Dear Ms. Island, I miss you more than ever, Mr. Sandman didn’t show tonight, but I hope you will show up in my horizon soon.

Until then, Ship Ahoy!

Wish I was there with you!

Wish I was there with you!

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relocating

December 17, 2008

Hi everybody!
So, the holidays are marching on towards us, with steps that echo with an disturbing stressing sound. The sound that sounds just like; “You havent bought any presents yet, have you?“.
Well, I have bought some presents, but I will still find myself in shops tearing my hair out in a couple of days, honestly considering whether Turtle Wax is a legit holiday gift or not. But right now I’m not going to let that spoil the joy of the x-mas cleaning I ‘m about to start. No, that wasn’t sarcasm.

You see, I got all the time in the world to clean, (not really, but a lot of extra time anyways), and right now I am accompanied by one the most beautiful female voices. This girl makes my legs turn into spaghetti. I’m of course talking about the oh so beautiful Veronica Maggio.

I rarely get stressed out anyway when the holidays are just around the corner. I guess I always find so much comfort in the picture I’ve painted in my mind. Mom cooking and baking, dad chilling out solving crosswords, my brother and I bashing each other in a random video game. I always get the feeling that everything’s gonna be alright, no matter what’s wrong in my personal life. Mom’s x-mas kitchen is my sanctuary.

Hope all of you can find comfort in something now during x-mas. have a good one everyone!

P.S. Don’t let Santa screw your mom, he might turn out to be your dad and everyone knows that parents screwing are gross. :)

Cheerio!!

random cleaning image???

random cleaning picture???

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someone else

December 5, 2008

i feel kinda “hyper”, hence nothing in the text will be capitalized. (like i didnt have time). i can’t sing, but i’m on the verge of finishing my second song for this week. it really makes me happy. i hope my friend is reading this next line because it will make her happy. i’m coming home for the weekend!

on the other hand, i hope doug heffernan never reads this post because he’d probably go; “make sense or i’ll tackle you” cool expression.

i’m thinking about sorting out my life. don’t know if i will, but hey, at least i’m thinking about it. i was in school the other day, sorted some things out, and after the holidays i’ll try to focus on school again.

in a recent lawsuit the verdict came out out really wrong.

yesterday i had coffee with a friend 3.30 am.

underwear that’s too small can make a grown man really grumpy, but considering the fact that i sit in a feminine “my-legs-crossed” position i’d say i have no idea about tiny underwears affect on grown men. i guess that’s all…for now.

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recycle

November 9, 2008

a sentence so simple,
a sentence so hard,
sentenced my thoughts,
to spring wildly apart.

our eyebrows are raised,
when stumbling upon,
life so cute,
embodied by a furry little paw.

Yet do we miss,
to realize the truth,
that our stay here,
is as short as it is cute.

it is morbidly cruel,
but when we were born,
there started a countdown,
to the flies next respawn.