Sitting in my apartment zipping coffee and shaking Mr. Sandman’s powder out of my eyes. It’s morning here where I live and I surf around on the web before proceeding to my daily tasks. It hits me that the goods I ordered last week probably are getting closer, so naturally I track them down on the internet…and what do I find??? They’re in my city and are probably going to arrive at my door later today. I’m really excited. I’m taking the day off to goof around with my new guitar amplifier…I’m hoping for some snow, that would absolutely crown the day; Coffee, new guitar amplifier, lit candles and snow outside just to set the mood. I’m going to make pancakes!

Cheerio!

You are bound to move forward. Time forces you. You are bound to have dreams. It is part of growing up. There are those that achieve dreams. Then there’s me.

Somewhere along the road I forgot to focus, I don’t honestly know if I ever knew how to do it. I just kinda drifted along like everyone else. Then you reach that point when you know it’s getting late. Denial… Doubt… did I fuck up?

It’s funny how you feel so low even though something awesome might be luring around the corner. I personally paint this huge lie everyday. I blame myself for not being an owner of a Nobel Peace Prize and a Stanley Cup trophy. Well, that’s an exaggeration, but you get the idea. I feel like I failed, and some days it feels like nothing else besides total world domination can cheer me up. Lies I tell you.

I guess it’s just a sign that I’m not comfortable with my life right now… Two remedies.

1. Change.

2. Wait for something/someone to change you.

Well what the hell would motivate me to change? I’d rather sit here with my stupid coffee mug and cry. It’s too late for me. I’m not ever going to score the winning goal in the World Cup Final…
…that’s a common misbelief. You are probably not going to score the winning goal, or even afford to go the game, but just get moving and you’ll see how pathetic scoring that goal will seem compared to the great things that will happen to you. You might not believe me, you might even loath me for trying to cheer you up with medieval clichés, but in the end…it’s your life, it’s your lie. What do you have to lose?

To bet on a team, on a sportsman, on a score…you do it because the outcome is unpredictable. When you watch the game, the fight, the tournament, you’re excited when things go your way. Unpredictable. You win. You’re a happy, for a moment. You play again, you lose. You play again, it’s a draw.

It’s not always about winning. It’s about participating. About leaving it up to fate. It’s about seeing things turn in your favor even though you were down 12-0 a minute ago. It is why we live.

I thought about death recently. I had witnessed a disease drain the life out of a person. I was mad. I felt frustrated. I wanted to be able to fix her. I wanted to fix everyone that needed help. I wanted everything to run perfect. I wanted the human body to function like a computer. To troubleshoot whenever a problem occurred, and then move on.
…careful what you wish for.
Predictability is not a reason to cheer.

It is heart aching, but death, is what painted life beautiful. Loneliness is the scented candle you smell when in love.

Obviously I can write it, but I will never ever fully understand.

Love,
4oclocksandwich.

a cup of coffee lasts 20 minutes
the smile generated by a birthday gift fades away in a couple of minutes,
you’re done reading the newspaper in half an hour,
but the obituary is there for another 24…then it’s replaced by the next one.

what an impact.

Out doing your body and soul justice yet?

I once saw a recording of a live stand-up comedy show starring Dylan Moran. He spoke about not making “a too big of a deal” of the whole “Hello-thing”. He described the word “Hello” as some kind of a word eater, When you meet someone you hardly know and haven’t seen him/her in a long time you usually say hello, and then suddenly you’re all out of words. You’ll just end up talking about the weather, and the weather is not on the list of things I want to discuss here. So, there you go, no hello.

I haven’t been polluting this blog with my boring words in a long time, but I think that is going to change from now on. I’ve had stuff to do. You’ll hear about a lot of things soon enough.
First of all though;

Envy.

Envy is NOT pretty. Christianity defines envy as one of the seven deadly sins. The way I was brought up I guess I’d define it as a weakness.
Today I witnessed envy in one of its more awful forms. I was at work, ( I work as a landscaper / gardener ). And we we’re constructing this stone wall on behalf of a client of ours. I’ve built similar stone walls hundreds of times all over town before, (they’re commonly used to add support to various flower beds, if the difference in height is great on a short distance of space) and the response I’ve gotten this far, have always been positive.

Today, it was negative. Don’t get me wrong now, our client was thrilled with it…he absolutely loved it. But, his neighbour on the other hand, wasn’t quite as excited as our client.

I started working at 8 am. Around 1 pm a man showed up. He introduced himself as the lawyer of the local housing committee . Then he continued to tell us that our clients neighbour felt that the stone wall we were building, somehow violated some kind of law. He himself couldn’t see where the problem resided. After taking some pictures the lawyer told us that we could finish our work, but that he had to discuss the matter with the board…

First of all;

The stone wall, with its flower bed, added gigantic amounts of character and harmony to the neighborhood.

Second;

Our client’s neighbour can’t see the wall from his house, and thus, it shouldn’t bother him.

And last but not least;

STOP SUING PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE YOU ENVY THEM! Especially when they’re making your neighborhood pretty.

I honestly have not been this disappointed in mankind in a long time. The man that sued our client showed such envy that I just want to go over there now and humiliate him in some way. Oh yeah, I didn’t mention that the whole thing is going to court. I’d understand him on some level if he would be poor, but judging from the size of his house, I’d say he is one of the wealthier chaps around…
maybe money does that to you?

Anyways, I’m just a bit wound up, it wasn’t my intention to return to this blog shouting.

Apart from the scenario described above, the summer has been nothing but good to me. I’ve laughed, shed tears of joy and absolutely felt like home. I’ll get back to you soon again.

Until then,

Ship ahoy, pirates do annoy!

A random stone wall I found on the web.

distant footsteps… the sound of fingers interacting with the keyboard tell us that he’s soon back.
Any day now…any day.

In a weak moment I did it. I decided between the trip and the studio-equipment. Want to guess which one I chose?:)

*drum-roll*

TADAA! The studio-equipment.

It’s being delivered from another country so I’m a bit nervous about the whole thing. When the store is thousands of miles away it’s not that easy to complain, should there be something to complain about. You could say I’m kinda supsicious, but, more importantly, I’m filled with excitement. It will be real cool to record stuff for real. Maybe I’ll post some of it here on my blog.
In another unrelated notice; Man went to the moon in 1969. Congratulations Neil Armstrong!

Moonio!

Suspicion

Hi all!

The human mind has a built in non-stoppable craving for more. Nothing is ever enough. In the words of the good old Billy Corgan; “I wanted more, than life could ever grant me”.
Sometimes we experience this as a bad thing, other times we realize that this craving is what keeps us going. The minute you give up on your goals you become a depressed zombie.

Of all the goals and dreams I like the smallest ones the most. You know, finally being able to purchase the guitar you’ve been drooling over the past months, or accomplishing something in school etc. These goals are totally within your reach, you just got to put a little effort in it. Then the rest is up to fate. If that guitar will ever get you what you want, or if the diploma earned in school will get you where you want to.

Right now, I’ve got two things in mind. A trip, and a set of recording equipment. I can’t have them both. With a little luck I can afford one of them.

The recording equipment would consist of; A 4-string acoustic bass, a preamp, a microphone and a microphonestand;

The trip would be a trip around Europe, by train.

I can’t have them both, but I believe I’ll be satisfied which ever I choose.
Until then, ride the big one!

Hi! The void of new stuff on here have certainly not gone unnoticed. I’ve been busy, lying, right now….sorry. Well, ok, I haven’t been that busy, I just haven’t felt the need for a monologue with myself. I’ve had lots to think about. I buried a close person to me recently. The burial was beautiful, I cried.

Then shortly after that, a rebirth of something I treasure more than most things was announced. My favorite band of all times have decided to get back together and at least record an album. They also mentioned touring, but I try not to get my hopes up. If there’s going to be a tour, I’ll be the happiest person in the front row. I’m of course talking about the band blink182.

Here’s the statement from blink182.com

“
Hi. We’re blink-182. This past week there’ve been a lot of questions about the current status of the band, and we wanted you to hear it straight from us. To put it simply, We’re back. We mean, really back. Picking up where we left off and then some. In the studio writing and recording a new album. Preparing to tour the world yet again. Friendships reformed. 17 years deep in our legacy.

Thanks and get ready…“

Now, it might not sound like much, but I can tell you all that it lit my heart at least for today.

Take care now everyone, I’ll hopefully be back shortly.

travis, tom, mark

Cheerio!

I’ve been reading a lot lately, came across this one book called; “Freakonomics”. Mighty interesting I must say. It’s all about “cause and effect” and correlations. A breath of fresh air some might say. The most interesting part of the book was about parenting. It got me wondering about the same thing that the author was questioning. How much does parenting affect a persons life?

The author, or the authors to be correct, had massive piles of data to back up their theories, I can merely judge my own life. I can also to some extent judge the lives of people very close to me since I tend to know their parents quite well too. I absolutely agree with the book when it comes to genetics. At least 50 % of peoples behaviour can, in my opinion, directly be linked to their genes. It’s the rest, the things that determine who you really are that is interesting. If I had to jump to conclusions my thesis would be this;

I think that parents…shit I’m going to need coffee for this one…
I think that parents can form your entire youth to some extent, they probably have very little impact on your personal IQ, but they can have a rather large impact on decisions you make as a youth. But after you reach maturity, your decisions, behaviour and personality will be entirely yours. Once in a while you will do something out of respect for your parents, but I’d like to claim that even that is not linked to parenting as much as it is to love.

Although I stated that parenting will be reflected in a persons youth, you can never be sure on how it will be reflected.For example; A popular belief is that if a child comes in contact with cigarettes as a child, the same child will probably be a smoker. My best childhood friend had parents that both were smokers. He never touched a cigarette. My parents weren’t smokers. I started smoking when I was twelve.

I think that parents are kinda like alcohol. Imagine this scenario; Although intoxicated, she wouldn’t steal a candy bar until given the opportunity. Sober she wouldn’t steal the same candy bar although given the opportunity. To sum it up;

- She has a tendency to steal candy bars, but is too afraid to do it sober.
- When drunk, she will not steal a candy bar until she accidentally comes across an empty shop with candy bars.

Another scenario;
She finds the piano intriguing. She is too afraid to ask the local hotel owner, (that she knows owns a piano), if she could practice playing the piano at his place. Her parents notice that she talks a lot about that there is a local hotel owner that has got a piano. They encourage her to go ask the local hotel owner if she could play his piano.

- She is interested in playing piano, but is too afraid to do it without encouragement.
- Encouraged she wouldn’t play the piano unless there was a piano close by.

What I’m saying is that through your entire youth you are merely intoxicated by your parents beliefs and ideas, not necessarily in a negative way. Your behaviour will very much also be affected by opportunity given. In the end I would also like to add that there are millions of other things that may have a large impact on your personality during the first 20 years of your life. I, for instance, would probably not write this blog at all had I been a son to a multimillionaire in say, the United States.

Anyways, I just wanted to share some thoughts with you, I kept on writing as the thoughts struck me so the opinions that I just expressed, are much likely to differ from the opinions that I’ll have in five years.

…hello horsy, off to wonderland, away!